Our hearts in two places {a goodbye and a hello}

I knew this day would come.

The day that we stripped our walls bare.

Our home is just a house now. Ready and quiet and waiting for its next occupants.

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And, unfortunately, our buyer backed out, so I don’t know who will hang art next on the big vaulted walls by the front window or who will make coffee on our cement counters. (Please pray there is an offer this weekend!) I don’t know who will walk to Standley Lake during the balmy summer evenings, or who will throw rocks into the nearby pond.

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But I do know that our home goes with us. Not in the sense of walls or paint colors or furnishings, but in the choice to make this move for our family. Our marriage. Our children.

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When we announced on social media that we were moving from Colorado to Texas, I promised a blog post to follow soon with more details than a single post can contain. But I’ve not had the energy. Slowly, over the past weeks, as we’ve packed and planned in lived in semi-denial of the finality of this move, I’ve felt emotion slowly oozing out of me. Occasionally, a tear would leak out. Sometimes a surge of excitement at the adventure ahead would stir, and David and I would smile at each other – weary smiles, but joyful nonetheless. More often than not, we have simply done what had to be done that day. Put our house on the market. Planned for temporary housing for the summer. Dreamed of a coming home this fall.

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Parts of this move are out of our control. And parts align with our long-term vision for our family. It’s a mixed bag. And perhaps that too is a gift.

Yes, David’s job relocation is the primary driving force in this move. For years we prayed for a job for him, and while he is not yet working in his ideal field, he enjoys what he does and the team with whom he works. I am so very grateful for both of those facts. He will be filling his same role in Houston, but working onsite versus remote on the same team. His company was just acquired by another company in the industry, so I’m sure lots of change is coming, but for now we can simply rest as a family in the fact that Houston has lots of possibilities in David’s field.

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But more than that, living in Texas with the lower cost of living will make the difference in the coming years as we raise small children. My entrepreneurial ventures as an essential oil business owner and the co-founder of Ablyss Women will continue as most of my team is online anyway. And I can travel back and forth for events and trainings as needed. But, living in Texas means that I don’t need to return to work this fall in a full-time capacity as we anticipated might need to happen in Colorado. Our housing payment stays about the same, but we trade a home that we already barely fit in for a home that can hold us, more potential babies and all the guests we desire to host. That’s a win:win.

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I ADORE working outside of the home, but at least one of our children doesn’t thrive when I’m gone for long periods of time and (if we are being honest) neither does our marriage. So for now, we are choosing this move for this season of parenthood to provide safe spaces for all of us. And I’m curious how it will change me. I’m an independent soul with a deep desire to contribute financially. But I’m also an empathetic relator, a whimsical writer, and a woman who yearned to be a mother through years of infertility.

And I’ve honestly never had the freedom to explore the depth of most of those callings in the midst of the financial strain of the first 12 years of our marriage.

I’m excited.

And a bit terrified.

Perhaps the whispers of change have kept me in denial the past couple of weeks. But perhaps it is the same promise of what our family might become…who I might become…that grounds me now and urges me forward into this new season of life.

My people are in Colorado.

My heart is still here in Colorado.

But our dreams and our home is coming in Texas.

We are propelled forward.

And I feel God’s peace in the upheaval like I haven’t felt in years.

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P.S. When I reached out to Mapiful, and they sent me two customized wall maps to represent the two places that we do AND will call home, I knew that these maps were treasures. To help me remember the coffee shop locations in Denver that have hosted my computer, work meetings, and plethora of empty cups, drained by a tired mama these past many years. The Denver map will help me remember the steps to the lake and the deep breathes required as we trudged back home with two tired, wet babies. This map shows where grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins live. Where our besties’ backyards are situated. While the Houston maps shows where we are going. Broad, white open spaces to write a new story. Intersections of freeways where more of my family lives. And lots of unknown possibilities and adventures. So to Denver and Houston, you are both in our hearts. If you too have a story to tell in the lines of a map, then use code “acupofbliss” at CHECKOUT to take 10% off your order through April.

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