As I drifted off to sleep this weekend, I spoke the words aloud.
Spoke into the darkness of the light finding my soul.
For most this would be only a minor revelation, but if you know of the worry that I’ve been gripped by then you also know that these words were more than idle mumblings of a sleepy, pregnant woman. These were words of thanksgiving. Words of simple request. Words of freedom.
“Lord, I thank you for this perfect baby…”
“Lord, I’ve been carrying burdens that aren’t mine to carry…”
“Lord, would you open the doors for an internship for David and finances for our family?”
I spoke aloud into the bedroom air and received the relief my soul had been longing for. Assurance. Peace. His Presence.
His still small voice whispered in my heart: “Daughter, you know all that matters is that you are pregnant, and you are going to have a baby, and that is enough. If you can’t set up the perfect nursery and your baby is in your room, it won’t be the end of the world. If you have to work full-time, then I will provide a way and the strength for that to be okay.”
Now that I ponder this revelation, I’m reminded: He is Enough. That is all. He is. Everything. I need. We need. My baby needs. He is.
Yes, this is so true! It is funny how life takes on twists and turns and you are never where you expect to be. I expected to have a nursery, to be able to stay home, but things are not looking that way for us either. Our baby is going to sleep in a pack and play in our room, because we do not have room for a crib. But what you keep saying is so true and I need to remember it more, that God is enough, and he will provide what we NEED. It may not necessarily be what I WANT, but it will be enough.
You and me both! Hugs 🙂
Lauren, I love reading your words about surrender and choosing peace and quietness in spite of noise and potential worries… You are beautiful. I can’t wait to live closer to you someday and share more of life together. Thinking of you, David, and your very blessed baby today! 🙂
Congrats on the second trimester! That’s a huge milestone!
I’d love to be a stay-at-home mom, too. I think my daughter is the most fastinating, funny, beautiful person I’ve ever hung out with. To get to be with her all day would be such a blessing.
I think back to all the financial choices we’ve made and wish we could go back and do things differently. But, we wouldn’t have been able to go through fertility treatments without my income, so we wouldn’t have her or this one on the way if I stayed home.
But still, it’s an emotional struggle, balancing finances and family.