Drug bust!

Well, not quite, but nearly as exciting on one’s average Wednesday morning.

First, let me set the backdrop. An unusually-wired middle school boy bounces into my room yesterday morning, chirruping in between bounces, “I…[bounce]…had…[hiccup]…a Monster drink….this morning!” Despite my instructions to glue himself to his desk, the morning did not progress in a way that most would consider seemly.

This morning, an uncanny repetition of the same scene occurred; however, this time multiple Monster drinks were sited in the course of one hallway stroll. None of the Monster-drinkers were students who needed the extra “pep,” and in an effort to save my fellow teachers from the experience that I endured previously, I confiscated the ridiculously-large energy drinks. Come to find out, there is a Monster drink “ring” at the school, supported by one primary “dealer” who has been keeping his friends in supply.

No more. BUSTED! Mission accomplished.

However, that may have been the highlight of my day. In search of my Day 3 Gift of Thanks, I found myself struggling. Struggling with many things. Struggling with fears. Struggling with physical ailment. Struggling with hormones-gone-wacky due to my current medications. Struggling to identify “A Gift Caught, Let Go, Mid-Way.”

Rather, I found disbelief. Exhaustion. Tears.

But then, despite it all, I found my gift. My gift that has not yet produced fruit.

Tears. Many, many tears.

Tears caught before they have fallen. Tears gushing forth and let go. Tears hitting cheeks, chest, folded legs, as they descend mid-way.

My eyes are swollen tonight. Honestly, I don’t want to rehash the issues right now, but it’s not pretty. Boil my emotions down, and you will find a lack of trust.

Sometimes I feel very damaged, much like the discarded clothes my students threw away at World Vision today. Much like something useful that is losing its usefulness. I’m going to bed. 

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