When a woman gets pregnant, she begins to prepare for many things. She prepares to nurse a crying infant. She prepares to rock a tiny form in her sleepy arms. She prepares to dress, clean, nurture, spank, watch, wait for, and love a new life.
She also prepares to lose her former image of her body. She prepares for stretch marks – scars, really, of the heroic acts of pregnancy and delivery. She will probably never look the same, but when she looks at her new baby the scars are worth it.
I feel the scars coming. The stretch marks are leaving their traces down and around my heart. It is stretching faith, this journey with You.
And, I’m all in.
I’m all in for the long, sleepless nights of hoping and praying for a miracle. I’m all in for the sweet moments of ecstactic growth and victory. I’m all in for the unexpected twists and turns of this journey, this walk with You. I’m all in for what I don’t know and what I can’t predict. I’m all in.
But, Father God, that doesn’t mean that I’m not afraid, impatient, weary, angry sometimes. I need Your strength to be made perfect in my weaknesses. I’m walking in a race where many runners are passing me by. Please fill me with Your endurance that I may obtain the prize. This stretching faith – this force that I was unprepared for – is changing who I am and how I experience life.
But, as women of faith have said for ages, “I am the Lord’s handmaiden. Do with me according to Your word.”