Are you familiar with the verse from Psalms that proclaims that “joy comes in the morning”? Yet, do you ever feel like you are living . . . existing . . . writhing . . . in an unending night?
I hope not. I pray that you have been spared. However, I know what the journey through infertility can do to your vision. I know the blinders that tragedies such as rape, death, and sickness tie tightly around closed eyes. I’ve been there, squeezing my eyes tightly against the pain of the present, while missing the hope that God is trying to send my way.
Sometimes, “nights” last a lot longer that we would like. Sometimes, the dark is thick and impenetrable, pushing away any thought of dawn’s warming beams. Evening can stretch into days which stretch into weeks which stretch into months of not trusting, fearing, wrestling, hating the unknowns that lurk.
As I crouched by my living room fireplace this morning, my orange tabby cat cuddling in my lap, I realized that I could choose to let the last couple of bad days result in several more bad days, several more unending “nights,” OR I could choose joy. I could choose trust. I could give back all of the unknowns that I had been trying to solve in my dissolving strength this week. I could choose God.
Joy comes in the morning AFTER the night, AFTER the pain, AFTER the disbelief. Everything seems clear in the morning, unmuddled by scary shadows and foggy corners. Joy brings clarity to the same things that had been gripped by fear.
Just some thoughts to give your weekend started . . . I’m cuddled on the couch, trying to disconnect from the students and responsibilities that have mired me in the mud over the past many days . . . I recommend the position, the activity, and the choice – to trust, to wake up to joy, to chase away shadows by resting in God, on God, because of God. I’ve got my work cut out for me 🙂