After filling several pages of my prayer journal this morning, I decided to go back and peruse my Facebook account from several years ago during a time of family tragedy, seeking a glimpse of the pain of then and the progress of now. In all honesty, I was amazed by the facade I so perfectly portrayed. As an outsider, I would have had no idea that the writer was sinking into depression, physically and emotionally worn down to the point of numbness, overwhelmed by the unimaginable situation before her. What was I writing about? My new kitten. Work. Exercise. Nothing revealing. Nothing transparent.
But then I found this quote from Hind’s Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard, posted as my status in April 2010:
Then he [The Good Shepherd] added, ‘Fear not, Much-Afraid, only believe. I promise that you shall not be put to shame. Go with Sorrow and Suffering [two allegorical characters], and if you cannot welcome them now, when you come to the difficult places where you cannot manage alone, then put your hands in their confidently and they will take you exactly where I want you to go.
And, I did. I put my hands into the strong grasps of Sorrow and Suffering, willing the Good Shepherd to take me where He wanted me to go. I didn’t want to traverse the heights He was directing me to. I didn’t want to walk through the valleys. I most certainly did not want to risk everything in search of dawn. But, I have. I did. He was faithful. He is still faithful.
Now, I don’t post about kittens when I really need to write about a student’s heartache, a friend’s loss, my own strivings. Transparency has found me and captured my soul, opening windows to freedom I had no idea existed.
I think the quote is as fitting now as it was then.